Shawn H.

Navigating the complexities of co-parenting after a 30-year marriage ended, 50-year-old Shawn H., a father of 8 who is also disabled, faced a heart-wrenching battle to be recognized in his youngest son, 10-year-old Shawn Jr.’s life. “Not being on my son’s birth certificate, coupled with the fallout of my marriage, left me feeling like an outsider, unable to share in his school life – a piece of fatherhood stolen,” Shawn shared. Driven by a deep desire to connect with his son and unsure of his parental rights, Shawn found a beacon of hope in FFSC’s 6-week Family Formation Program.

The program became a lifeline, offering Shawn structure and practical tools to navigate his situation. “Those daily ‘What’s Up’ sharing circles with other dads were a revelation,” he recalled. “Hearing their relatable experiences reassured me that I wasn’t alone in this.” This sense of community resonated so deeply that Shawn and his current wife now have their own version of “What’s Up” to stay connected.

More importantly, the program’s emphasis on effective communication provided Shawn with invaluable skills to bridge the gap with his son’s mother, fostering a better understanding of Shawn Jr.’s daily needs.

FFSC’s legal team proved instrumental in clarifying Shawn’s rights and helping him establish legal paternity, culminating in his name being added to Shawn Jr.’s birth certificate. As the legal process moved towards determining custody, FFSC’s support continued, with the team assisting in filing paperwork that ultimately granted Shawn 77% custody with alternating weekend visits.

The court also ordered the child’s mother to pay $575 in child support. However, because Shawn realized the importance of having both parents a part of his son’s everyday life, he refused the order, stating, “I didn’t want or need child support, I simply just wanted to be a part of my son’s life”.

The shift between households naturally brought adjustments for young Shawn, particularly with differing parenting styles. FFSC’s parenting tools helped: “We’ve established a consistent schedule at our house, which has made a real difference,” Shawn noted. This stability, including dedicated homework time with his dad, has contributed to Shawn Jr.’s progress in reading and math.

For Shawn, who uses a wheelchair, these shared moments are now treasured. “Shawn and I love boxing, playing basketball, just being outside, and having his friends over,” he beams.

Today, as a grandfather to 13 and the owner of Best Smoking Vaper, Shawn cherishes the times his children, including young Shawn, come to help at his shop. Reflecting on his journey, Shawn offers this powerful insight: “Being a father is about unwavering consistency. Never give up on your child; they need to know their roots, and it reassures us fathers of the path ahead.”